I read an article recently about the importance of having things to look forward to. One of the challenges of 2020 is how many ordinary—and out-of-the-ordinary—experiences the pandemic has robbed us of. There are no weddings. No baby showers. No one was packing their trunk for summer camp or their duffel bag for a weekend trip upstate to play tennis and go canoeing. August didn’t bring trips to Target for kids, flip-flops slapping on the hot asphalt of the parking lot before entering the cool store and piling colorful binders and file folders and packages of neon-hued markers in a shopping cart.
No one is traveling to Spain to sunbathe on the cliffs near Mallorca or riding a steamer train through the emerald hills of Scotland. We’re not meeting friends for dinner on Saturday nights, leaning across the table to share spaghetti alle vongole and a bottle of red wine, sopping up the sauce with crusty bread as the evening marches towards midnight. We’re not planning a holiday trip to Caneel Bay to windsurf and eat fresh pineapple on the beach. We won’t fly to London at Christmas to walk across the Millennium Bridge, scarves wrapped tightly around our necks while the wind whips through our hair and the church bells ring out at St. Paul’s Cathedral.
There are no potlucks. No raucous Oktoberfest celebrations. No college reunions. No birthday parties with cake slices passed around or Taylor Swift concerts or movie theater dates. There’s no theater, period. We’re not going to museum openings or football tailgates or readings at the local bookstore, crammed into folding chairs at the back with dozens of other expectant listeners. We aren’t having people over for dinner, turning on the Etta James station quietly in the background and serving roast chicken with crispy rosemary potatoes glistening with duck fat, then lingering over apple tart with a paper-thin pastry crust and half-drunk glasses of Viognier.
But there are plenty of things to look forward to—we just have to recalibrate slightly. The calendar isn’t crammed full of the normal sort of dates and reminders in messy scrawl flight to SFO, 8 PM and dermatologist appointment and indoor soccer game, 10:30 AM, bring orange slices! and dinner at Il Buco with Emily, 6:30 PM and call landscaper and book haircut.
Look elsewhere! Look around and above and behind the things you miss. Look for ways to be with people, when you can—look for newness and changes in season and tiny pleasures that give you a thrill of anticipation.
Oh, and plan some things! You have more control than you realize over what lies ahead. If it’s important to you to have things to look forward to, then create some routines that you can rely on to pop up every so often. (One of my sisters just started doing Sunday sundaes, for example. Every Friday night, I order pizza and watch a movie—two things I only do on Fridays.)
When the horizon seems the most endless and empty, stretching ahead without the sparkly anticipation of all those things mentioned above, you might just have to think SMALL. I realize this sounds very “women’s magazine advice column” of me, but it works! Pick something you like and wrap it in delayed gratification—a bath with a very good book; a hard and beautiful hike somewhere new; a pint of ice cream. Make something you’ve never made before: brioche bread or tahdig or spicy Korean chicken wings or scallion pancakes.
If you need inspiration in that regard, try the recipe below which I came up with as a birthday cake for two-year-old twins who love both cookies and cake in equal measure, so a cookie-filled cake seemed like the only logical solution. More on the cake below!
Beyond those little things, here’s what I’m looking forward to. How about you?
-Autumn on the coast of Maine
-Watching a baby see snow for the first time
-Piling in bed with all of my sisters—and some teeny new family members—at Thanksgiving
-Deciding on a project for Christmas gifts this year
-Lighting fires at night (and possibly a beach bonfire)
-Unexpected mail (it’s good to be hopeful for surprises!)
-Homemade applesauce season
-Reading this novel when it’s released: The Midnight Library by British author Matt Haig
And now, about the cake. The idea behind this recipe is a riff on a traditional streusel-filled coffeecake; instead of layering the thick pound-cake-like batter with a cinnamon streusel, you crush up cookies and use that as the filling.
The cookies soften slightly into a sliceable layer—I wouldn’t try replacing the streusel on top of a cake with cookie crumbs, as they might not adhere as well as streusel does.
It’s key to use very crisp, crunchy cookies. You can bake your own of course, and if you go that route I’d recommend this recipe. Here I used Tate’s gluten-free chocolate chip cookies. Why gluten-free, you ask, when the cake is full of gluten? The GF cookies are much crispier than their other varieties.
I’m looking forward to creating different versions of this recipe—perhaps a pumpkin sour cream cake with a molasses cookie filling or a chocolate cake with a chocolate sandwich cookie filling. Cinnamon cake with a snickerdoodle filling? Stay tuned!
Chocolate Chip Cookie-Filled Pound Cake
10 ounces crisp chocolate chip cookies
2 3/4 cups (330g) all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 3/4 sticks (310g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
6 ounces (170g) cream cheese, at room temperature
2 cups (400g) granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Grease a 10-cup Bundt pan very thoroughly then sprinkle granulated sugar over the inside of the pan, turning it upside down and tapping to remove any excess sugar.
Place the cookies in a bag and use a rolling pin or heavy jar to crush them—crush them enough so that some of it is sandy-textured but leave some larger pieces the size of peas or as big as a dime. Set aside.
Whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt and set aside.
In a stand mixer, beat the butter with the cream cheese until fluffy, about 3 minutes on medium-high speed.
Add the sugar and beat until pale and fluffy, about 3 more minutes.
Add the eggs, one at a time, stopping to scrape down the bowl between each.
Mix in the vanilla, then add the dry ingredients and mix until just combined.
Scrape half of the batter into your prepared pan and smooth the top. Sprinkle the cookie crumbs in an even layer over the batter, then top with the remaining batter and smooth the top.
Bake the cake for about 1 hour and 15 minutes (it may take slightly longer).
Remove from the oven and let cool fully in the pan. (Note: Normally I recommend that you flip the cake out of a Bundt pan after about 20 minutes but I’ve found that this type of heavy pound cake batter will stick if you try to turn it out before it’s fully cooled. However, I do suggest that you run a knife around the top edges to loosen it while it’s still in the pan and cooling.)
Once cooled, flip the cake over onto a wire rack and remove the pan.