I can barely hear the music (Brandenburg Concerto No. 3) playing quietly on the kitchen speakers over the sound of the rain on the skylight overhead. Water is streaming in sheets from the eaves of the house next door, drenching the neatly planted beds of flame-colored butterfly milkweed and heart-shaped caladium.
Intermittent periods of hail drum in a steady percussion on the patio table outside. (Sidebar: Did you know that hail only forms during thunderstorms? The storms’ strong updrafts carry raindrops quickly into ultra-cold areas of the atmosphere, where they quickly freeze, becoming heavy enough to begin to fall. As they fall, they merge with regular raindrops, which freeze upon contact, making the hailstones bigger and bigger.)
When I took my post-run swim this morning, the rain was just beginning to turn to hail, dotting the water with little white pellets of ice. You can’t hesitate in this sort of weather—you just pull your shirt over your head, unlace your shoes, and run down the dock at full speed.
(Wait, you think swimming at 7 AM during a full-fledged hail and windstorm in late November in the Long Island Sound is crazy? Huh. Interesting.)
On gray days, baking is a particularly nice activity. It’s possible that you’re in full-on Thanksgiving prep mode (more about this year’s holiday soon), in which case you might have eyes only for pumpkin pie or apple pie and dinner rolls.
Whether or not you’re going to bake the following recipe tomorrow or next week or next month, I have to tell you about it now. You can bookmark it and tuck it away for the next thunderstorm or rainy Thursday or dreary Saturday.
Ready? Funfetti sweet rolls! I made these to drop off for a friend who has just brought her baby home from 77 days in the NICU, so I cast about for something extra-celebratory—and what’s more celebratory than sprinkles? (Not a rhetorical question. Please chime in.)
I considered a few other options first (cardamom cinnamon rolls / caramel apple sweet rolls with boiled cider / banana bread cinnamon rolls / tahini sesame sweet rolls / frangipane pear sweet rolls / s’mores rolls with a filling of graham crumbs and marshmallow Fluff and chopped chocolate) before discovering a half-full jumbo-sized jar of sprinkles in my pantry. Since I don’t eat spoonfuls of sprinkles on a daily basis (perhaps a life oversight but true nonetheless), this seemed like a useful way to make the most of them.
I didn’t frost the rolls because that’s not very practical from a gifting perspective, but if you’d like to, I’d suggest a simple cream cheese frosting (with sprinkles, duh) or a basic vanilla glaze.
**Notes: I used Princess Cake Emulsion, which is a random baking ingredient that makes homemade vanilla cakes and cookies taste like bakery sheet cake. You can leave it out, or swap in vanilla extract. If you use vanilla, I’d double the amount. If you want to replicate that store-bought, boxed mix Funfetti flavor, buy Princess Cake Emulsion. You can get it on Amazon!
I also added a thin layer of malted milk powder to my filling to give the rolls even more flavor. Weird, but good. You can skip this but I would recommend finding it!
Funfetti Rolls
Makes two 9” round pans
For the dough
1 cup (227g) milk, warmed to lukewarm
1/2 cup (99g) sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons instant yeast
1/2 cup (113g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 to 5 cups (480 to 600g) all-purpose flour
For the filling
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1/3 cup malted milk power
1 cup sprinkles
To make the dough: Combine the milk, sugar, yeast, butter, eggs, salt, and 4 cups of the flour in a stand mixer. Mix using the paddle attachment until the dough starts to come together, then switch the dough hook and knead until the dough is smooth and elastic, about 5 minutes on medium-high speed. You’ll need to add at least 1/2 cup more flour, and possibly an entire cup more. Add the flour a bit at a time as you knead to ensure you don’t add too much. The dough should be slightly tacky but not sticky.
Transfer the dough to a large, lightly greased bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Let the dough rise for 1 1/2 to 2 hours or until puffy and almost doubled in size.
Once the dough has risen, press/roll it out into a large rectangle. It should be about 3/4-inch thick.
Brush the top of the dough with melted butter, sprinkle with malted milk powder, and top with an even layer of sprinkles. You want the layer of sprinkles to be uniform, so if you need to use slightly more or slightly less, that’s fine.
Roll the dough up starting at the long edge closest to you into a log and pinch it shut. Using a sharp knife or unflavored dental floss, slice the log into 2-inch wide pieces. Place the slices into two parchment-lined 9” round cake pans. (You’ll want about 8 slices per pan.)
Cover the pans loosely with plastic wrap and let rise for about 1 hour.
Towards the end of the rising time, preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Once risen, bake the rolls for 20 to 30 minutes, or until lightly golden brown on top.
Remove from the oven and brush with more melted butter. Let cool completely first if you plan on frosting them.